This practice is for anyone

all genders, all backgrounds.

Feminist Decluttering is about noticing the silent rules that society puts on us:

how we “should” look, 

behave, spend time, and constantly try to be “better”. 

Instead, 

we are here to take back our space, our time, and our right to live for ourselves.

Instead of spending time and energy catering to the gaze and social discipline, I follow Orlan’s spirit:

“My goal was to be different, strong; to sculpt my own body to reinvent the self.”

💜

Let’s get started!

STEP 1

Introduction (3 mins)

☀️Feminism here is not only about women. It is about everyone and the systems we live in. 

⭐️Studies show that people around the world spend about 4 hours a day trying to improve their appearance. A 22-country survey by GfK found that women spent nearly 5 hours a week on personal grooming (bathing, dressing, skincare, hair, make-up), while men spent over 3 hours on appearance-enhancing routines such as grooming, styling, or gym training. Beyond the physical routines, people also shared that they spend a lot of mental energy thinking about how others see them. Many of our daily actions aren not truly for ourselves, but for the gaze we feel around us.

💬This toolkit helps you notice whether you are caught in that cycle, or if you have already sensed it and want to step out. Through simple and gentle exercises, you will explore what you genuinely want to spend your time and attention on. Not what others expect, but what actually matters to you.

🌳This is about letting go of habits shaped by pleasing others, reclaiming your body and your time, and choosing your life for yourself. 

Step 2

Brainstorm: Notice External Expectations (6 mins)

preparation:

*Grab a piece of paper and pen, or open a notes app ✍

👀Take a breath. Let’s start! 😀

🌼Stay gentle with yourself. You’re just observing. 

1.Three warm-up Questions (1 min)

Answer thesequickly each in 5 seconds. Don’t overthink! just notice and write down a note.

     When today did I feel the most “looked at”?

     What version of myself do I hope no one ever sees?

     Who is the “audience” in my mind?

2. The Gaze Audit List (2 mins)

👁️   👁️Write down every action today (or recently) that happened because someone might be watching.
The more honest you are, the more powerful this becomes. 

3. Spot the “version” you’re performing (3 min)

This is the heart of the exercise.

Circle the top 1–2 behaviors you do most often, then ask yourself:

     Is this protecting me, or draining me?

     Is this something I chose, or something I was trained to do?

     How much time do I spend on it everyday, is it really necessary?

     If the whole world couldn’t see me, which of these behaviors would disappear?

Pause for 5 seconds.
Let the answer land softly.😌

STEP 3

👾Take Action: What is one small thing I can do today that is for me, not for the gaze? (4 mins)

Choose 1–2 actions below, or create your own

and start from today or tomorrow.

☘️Make it small enough that you cannot fail.

1. A sticker of encouragement

(🫧Put it on the back of your phone, laptop, water bottle, or mirror.)

Write one sentence that comes from your brainstorm or meditation and place it somewhere you’ll see often, like back of your mobile phone.

     I am not performing.

     I don’t exist for an audience.

     My body is mine.

     I choose what I do.

     …

2. The “No Performance” Minute

(🍒drop the performance for sixty seconds)

Relax your shoulders, soften your belly. Let your face return to its most natural state. No smile, no mask, no effort.

For one minute,

just be yourself without performing for anyone.

That is an action.

A private, unrated space.

One minute is enough to shift something deep.

3. The Real Voice Line

(🍁speak one sentence in your unfiltered voice)

Using your most natural voice

not the polite voice, not the pleasing voice

read one of the following lines to yourself:

 “This is my voice.”

 “I’m here, and I don’t have to shrink.”

 “I don’t have to be perfect to exist.”

 “I don’t say sorry for existing.”

 “I can take my time.”

 “I don’t have to reply instantly.”

 “I’m allowed to say no.”

This is a physical way of calling your agency back from inside your body.

One sentence is enough.

Let your body remember it.

STEP 4

Reflection & Next Step (3 mins)

1. Time & Energy Awareness

🦋Ask yourself:

Which behavior from today’s gaze-audit could I let go, even just a little?

If I stop doing one performance habit I have, how many minutes or how much mental energy I can get back tomorrow?

What could I do with the saved time that  actually mine? Something grounding, joyful, or simply restful?

Let the answer be honest, not idealized.

3. Tomorrow’s Plan

⭐️Now write one small, realistic intention for tomorrow, 

something that return your time or your body back to yourself.

✨

To seal it, whisper quietly:

“Tomorrow, at least one choice will be mine.”

Also, write or whisper softly:

“This action is mine.

Not for the gaze.

Not for approval.

Just for me.”

STEP 5

Pause & Listen to Your Body (3 mins)

A grounding practice to return your body to yourself.

Short breathing, meditation, listen to your body.

🌱This part can be experienced in two ways:
listening with eyes closed or reading along with the on-screen subtitles.
Feel free to choose the option that best for you!👋

STEP 6

 Closing (1 min)

Congratulations! Well done!

Yay! You did it amazing! 🥳Thank you for being here~

If you have any thoughts, reflections, or something you’d like to share with me and others, feel free to write it below! Even just a sentence is perfect.

All responses will appear in the public sheet of shared reflection,
so you can also read what others wrote and leave a bit of encouragement too 💛

https://forms.gle/tk8kwKoA5qRdRutc8

View the shared reflections here:

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19qr282yJoIxO7RKsdLGMHt2CkNrXUlaVy6PV_dGNGNA/edit?resourcekey=&gid=2137099191#gid=2137099191

🌻Also, if anything comes up or you’d like to share more, you’re always welcome to reach me here!☘️

📫️Xiaobaoye1117@gmail.com

Reference

Orlan, The Reincarnation of Saint-Orlan, interview by Stuart Jeffries, The Guardian, July 1, 2009, para. 7, https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2009/jul/01/orlan-performance-artist-carnal-art.

GfK. People Average 4 Hours a Week on Personal Grooming. Press release, January 27, 2016. https://www.prnewswire.co.uk/news-releases/people-average-4-hours-a-week-on-personal-grooming-why-566665281.html.

Featured image: “product-minimalist-object-subject” by Pixabay (CC0 / free for commercial use). https://pixabay.com/zh/photos/product-minimalist-object-subject-5226410/

Background music: “Padsound Meditation”, from Pixabay (Free for commercial use, no attribution required). https://pixabay.com/sound-effects/padsound-meditation-21384/