Stuck in a bog.
I have been struggling with the idea of producing things. I have been making some things out of clay, but they don’t make it to the kiln before I dissolve them back into the water bucket. I have this feeling that there are already so many other things in the world, that why on earth would it be necessary to make more. For these things to become dusty in a cupboard somewhere, to use electricity in their making, or just to exist in a way that isn’t biodegradable, even though I am working with natural materials. I just can’t move myself past this thought of producing objects to add to this gigantic mass of stuff that people have already produced, that is too much. Surely I should be working towards us all producing less rather than adding.
It has forced me to the conclusion that if I am going to be making sculpture then I will install things in a way that they are not stagnant. And that if I don’t produce many things then this isn’t a problem, as long as my thinking and my research is gathering, actions are still happening without things having to sit on my desk. I will make work that breaks down, that dissolves or that’s buried. Leaving traces but not continuing to be whole.
Maybe this approach or this feeling will pass, but for now this is where I’m at.
And the snow is back. The pipes froze in my house where I am staying, again. But the water soon came back the next day. It is still snowing. I should try not to let it bother me, I shouldn’t complain as it is Estonia. There is a lockdown now. We are number one apparently in the world. I can still go to the studio but it’s not exactly the atmosphere.
If you can’t tell I have this cynical little commentary going on in my own head about my art practice, and the weather. I will kick it out.
