Act 1, Scene 1:
The curtain rises to reveal Tony, standing in front of a large poster of a swampy area at night. The camera slowly zooms in on a patch of lily pads in the centre of the poster. Suddenly, the shadow of a frog appears on the surface of the water, as if it’s standing on top of the lily pads.
Tony: (to the audience) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It’s a nice night tonight for delving into the fascinating world of frog shadows.
(Tony turns towards the poster)
Tony: As you can see, frog shadows come in all shapes and sizes. The size of a frog shadow is determined by the distance between the frog and the light source. The closer the frog is to the light source, the larger the shadow.
(Tony walks over to a table, where he has set up a lamp and a toy frog)
Tony: And now, let’s take a closer look at the shape of frog shadows.
(Tony turns on the lamp, causing the toy frog to cast a shadow on the wall)
Tony: Notice how the shape of the shadow changes as I move the toy frog closer to the light source.
(Tony moves the toy frog closer to the lamp, and the shadow becomes larger and more distorted)
Tony: Ahem. This tells us that the shape of a frog shadow is not only influenced by the distance between the frog and the light source, but also by the shape of the object itself.
Act 1, Scene 2:
Tony is now sitting at a desk, surrounded by many books on art, science, and entertainment.
Tony: (to the audience) So, what can we do with this knowledge of frog shadows? Come on, hurry up…? Well, the possibilities are endless. Nothing too frightening.
(Tony picks up a book on art)
Tony: Well I mean, for instance… Are you looking? For instance, artists can use the shape and size of frog shadows to create unique and inspiring compositions.
(Tony picks up a book on science)
Tony: Scientists can study the properties of frog shadows to better understand light and shadow in the natural world.
(Tony picks up ‘World Myths’)
Tony: Oh yes. And entertainers can use this knowledge to create innovative entertainment that uses the properties of light and shadow.
“The Harvest Moon called upon the frogs of the world and asked them to create something more beautiful than anyone had seen. The frogs agreed, and they set to work.
They began by dancing in the moonlight, their shadows casting patterns on the ground. The Harvest Moon watched in wonder as the frog shadows twisted and turned, creating a beautiful and ever-changing tapestry of light and dark.
As the night wore on, the frogs grew tired, but they refused to give up. They continued to dance and create, their shadows growing stronger and more vibrant with every passing moment.
Finally, as dawn approached, the frogs completed their masterpiece. They had created a great and wondrous world, full of beauty and magic. The frog shadows had become a thing of wonder, and everyone who saw them was filled with awe and reverence.”
Ahem.
(Tony puts down his books)
Tony: Frog shadows, elusive and fleeting, cast upon the ground, a moment’s greeting. A glimpse of form, a hint of hue, an image of life, before it’s through.
A comprehensive understanding of frog shadows might lead to exciting developments in many fields. I mean there’s very nearly an ‘ectre ‘ere. But how will we know until we’ve found out what a frog shadow is?
Thank you very much.
Act 1, Scene 3:
Tony is now standing on stage, holding a toy frog and a lamp. He holds up the toy frog.
Tony: (to an audience member) It’s a small world isn’t it? Don’t you feel small? My good woman, I wish I could see as well as you!
(to all) So, there you have it. The simple shadow of a frog may seem like a small and insignificant thing, but as we have seen tonight, it has the potential to inspire and inform us in many ways. Not bad. Not at all bad.
(Tony turns on the lamp, causing the toy frog to cast a shadow on the wall)
Tony: (cont’d; sighs) This lamp is really taking it out of me….
As I look at these shadows, I feel a sense of purity and renewal, as if all of my past troubles have been washed away. The next time you see a frog shadow, take a moment to appreciate its shape, size, and colour. Who knows what insights it may reveal yet?
That was a bit quick.
(Tony bows, and the curtain falls)
Act 2, Scene 1:
Tony is joined on stage by Sid. Sid is examining Tony’s books.
Sid: Oi, ‘ave you ever seen a frog shadow before?
Tony: (confidently) Cor dear, of course I ‘ave. Course I have. I don’t take them for granted. I know very well all about them.
Sid: Really? That’s great. Tell me then, what do you know about them?
Tony: (hesitantly) Again? Well for crying out loud, very well, they’re the shadows of frogs, obviously.
Sid: (skeptical) Yes, obviously. But do you know anything else about them?
Tony: Oh well, er … some of the frog shadows are, well, they are very…. mysterious.
Sid: Sans l’ombre d’un doute?
Tony: I realise that, it’s the doubt I’m trying to find out about. Oh, yes. I’ve just told you. They’re often found near water, and they can change shape depending on the position of the sun.
Sid: (skeptical) Hmm, I don’t think that’s quite right. Frog shadows don’t change shape.
Tony: (defensively) Well, I heard it somewhere. Would you kindly go and ascertain where. Oh, do get on with it.
Sid: (getting bothered) You heard it somewhere? You don’t even know what you’re talking ahbowt. Why do you always ‘ave to pretend like you know everything?
Tony: I know, I know, I know. There’s no need to shout. Oh, all right. I’m not on top form today with the frog shadows. It’s ‘ard graft. I… I fell asleep at the swamp the other day and all my work went right up the spout…. I’ll probably just get an early night.
Sid: (continuing) You know, my uncle is a world-renowned expert on frog shadows. E’s spent his entire life studying them ‘e has, and you come in ‘ere spouting nonsense like you know what ya talking ahbowht…
Tony: (aside) He’s summed it right up. A fine start to my new career isn’t it? No. I’m fed up with it. All those endless lily pads. I never really had the time. It doesn’t matter. Most people aren’t very interested anyway. There are other things in life. Frog shadows are not the world, I’ve always said that.
Act 3, Scene 1:
The curtain rises to reveal Tony, sitting at a desk lit by a lamp. The stage is empty and dark.
Well well well, ladies and gentlemen, I find myself once again suffering from the affliction of ennui. Yes, that feeling of listlessness and boredom that plagues us all from time to time. It’s a strange thing, this ennui. You can be perfectly content one moment, and the next, you feel as though you’re trapped in a never-ending cycle of monotony. Of course I’m not surprised.
And so, in an attempt to shake myself out of this malaise, I decided to find out all about frog shadows. Yes, frog shadows. It’s a fascinating topic, really, if you think about it. No, you must. I should say so. Everybody should think about frog shadows. Well.., it’s part of what makes us who we are. The way that the light hits the frog just so, and creates a perfect silhouette on the ground. It’s a magnificent thing of great beauty, really. Well, some of them are. Just not round ‘ere.
As I delved deeper into the world of frog shadows, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of futility. But that’s neither here nor there. Let’s forget about it. What was the point, really? What would it matter if I knew everything there was to know about frog shadows? I mean, I can take ’em or leave ’em. Doesn’t bother me. Would it make any difference to anyone? What a life!
And that’s the thing about ennui, isn’t it? It’s this overwhelming sense of meaninglessness. Everything feels pointless and insignificant. I’m just too caught up in me own ’ead. There’s always something to occupy your mind isn’t there?
Cheerio then. Not goodbye… au revoir.
The curtain falls for intermission.
Act 3, Scene 2:
Sid clutches half a bitter and a packet of crisps in one hand. He looks for an empty seat in the front row. The spotlight follows him.
Sid: Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Brassy girl: (giggles) It is now.
Sid: (recognising Brassy girl) Cor blimey, fancy seein’ you ‘ere darlin’! Ave you ever seen a frog shadow before?
Brassy girl: Can’t say I ‘ave Sidney. Why, do they ‘ave some kind of ‘idden talent?
Sid: Oh, you could say that. They’re quite partial at ‘iding in the shade, if you catch my drift. (winks)
Brassy girl: (chuckles) Oooooh Sid, but I can’t see how frog shadows are saucy?
Sid: Oh, come on now. ‘Aven’t you ever ‘eard of the [whispers something] for frogs? (cackles)
Brassy girl: (laughing) I think you might be pulling my frog’s legs.
Sid: (smirking) Oh, I’m not pulling anything. Yet. Just you wait until you see the size of my frog shadow. It’s impressive, even if I do say so meself.
Brassy girl: (giggling) Well Sidney, I’ll have to take your word for it darlin’. But I think I’ll stick to me and my shadow for now.
Sid: (winking) Suit yourself girl. But let me tell ya, the closer the frog gets to the lamp, the bigger its shadow grows. (cackles)
Comments:
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but recent legislation has made owning frog shadows illegal. Unfortunately, this means that if you’re caught with even a speck of frog shadow, it could mean danger for you and your loved ones. I know it sounds crazy, but big government is serious about this. It turns out that frog shadows are even more dangerous than we thought. Who knew that something so small and seemingly harmless could cause such chaos? But hey, let’s not dwell on the negatives, right? How’s your day been so far? Personally, I’m feeling a bit down, but I guess that’s to be expected when you’re in the business of selling frog shadows in the current climate. Speaking of which, I happen to have a bit of frog shadow left over that I was going to just give away. Would you be interested in buying some before I dispose of it? I know it’s risky, but think of the thrill of breaking the law! Plus, a little bit of frog shadow never hurt anyone, right? Except for maybe the big government officials who made it illegal in the first place! Anyway, let me know if you’re interested. And stay safe out there, frog shadows are a dangerous game!
