SPECIAL MENTION SLOAN PRIZE 2026
“Hey, look! I’m a real writer now! Getting a special mention here amongst so much great work means more than I can say, even just as proof that people do like my weird stories.”
Tae A Lab Rat
A dinnae ken how lang a’ve bin here, slowly waistin awa under the blindin fluorescent
lichts ae this cauld, impersonal lab.
If a try deid hard, a can almaist move ma hand. Tiny circular movements, brushin ma
fingers against the glass chube they pit me in, feelin the familiar burn in ma ribs
whenever a breathe in tae hard. There’s no much occurrin here. Naw smells, naw taste,
naw sound. Weel, a suppose that mebbe the smell ae antiseptic shud count, but a
cannae mind a time wioot that, so it doesnae rilly register as a smell.
The scientist is a cruel maister. He wanders in, takin a look at the chubes around wi a
detached interest, lik he’s in a different wurld than the rest ae us. He’s got these thick
specs, lik the glass around us but different, thicker, lik his own wee chube. His own wee
wurld, framed by crusty yella lenses. He bites at his fingernail as he meanders aboot,
yellowin, nicotine-stainit fingers diggin aboot his gob lik he’s searchin fur secrets.
A dinnae move. A hauld ma breath, countin doon fae ten in ma heid, hopin against aw
hope he’ll piss awf afore he comes tae ma chube.
He doesnae piss awf. He never pisses awf. Instead he stauns, nose tae the glass so ma
whole vision becomes his beady eyes through them thick specs, tappin at me. Tap, tap,
tap on the glass, lik am… weel, a guess a am just property tae him.
Maist days, he pisses richt awf aifter that. He’s jist here tae remind me he’s here, if ye
ken whit a mean. Maist days blur intae yin, yin endless day ae misery and boredom and
watchin the wurld go by fae ma chube, sure, but am sure maist ae them involve him
pissin awf.
The day is different, though. The day, he watches me fur a bit longer, starin through the
glass so close a can see every pore on his face. It’s honestly mingin. He’s mingin, aw
spotty and weird lik a teenager pretendin tae be this adult man. He’s got this absolutley
dire beard, aw scraggly and shite, so bad it’s enough tae put me awf ma dinner. A
dinnae get fed proper, anly through a chube, so a cannae rilly be put awf, but the spirit
ae it remains.
Am turnin intae a rat.
A hink that’s whit aw this is fur. A dinnae exactly ken, naebidy will tell me anythin acos
there’s naebidy but the maister wi his thick glasses and he willnae tell me acos he’s the
one who stabs me wi needles every few days. So a dinnae ken exactly if they are tryin
tae turn me intae a rat and a have naw idea why they’d be tryin tae dae that acos that’s
fuckin insane. An a dinnae want tae hink aboot it tae hard acos a’ll lose ma mind, but
am fairly sure that’s whit they’re tryin tae dae tae me.
So aye. Am turnin intae a rat, and a ken a sound mad, and yer prolly hinkin its acos ave
bin kept in this chube fur way too lang, but am sure ae it.
It stairtert wi the ears. Ave ailways had nairmal, human ears. A mean, ave ailways bin a
nairmal human. A certainly wis afore a endit up here, that’s fur certain. An then yin day
a woke up an a wis in a chube. But am still a nairmal human, ye ken?
Until the maister starts stickin needles in me, that is.
The first time a wis sae feart a nearly kickt his teeth in an made a run fur it. A couldnae,
of course, acos he had tied ma airms an legs doon tae the table, but in ma imagination
a wis makin a run fur it. In ma heid, a wis ootside, boltin across the fields and roads until
a got tae ma gaff and curlit up, safe at last.
In reality, he had stuck this big fuck awf needle intae me, and a wis just hallucinatin.
So aye, the first change a noticit wis the ears. Aifter the first injection, they startit growin.
A had hoped it wid stay slow – it stairted awf slow, an a cuid pretend it wisnae happenin
tae me, act lik there wis nothin goin on at aw – but aifter the first day it sped up. An it
hurt lik naethin else. It felt lik samyin had gripped ontae ma heid and wis pullin, pullin, lik
there wis nae tomorra, lik there wisnae still a human bein attachit tae them. Acos at that
point, a wis still a human bein. A hink. A hope a still am.
Aifter the ears grew, a spent quite a while staunin in ma chube, hands ower them, cryin
tae masel. A couldnae cope. A convincit maself there wis naethin happenin tae me, that
this wis aw some vivid dream, that a’d wake up in ma shitey flat an it wid aw be a gas
leak or an infection or somhin lik that.
The maister made sure a couldnae forget. He didnae give me another injection fur days,
but he’d come around tae ma chube every day tae pull at ma ears and measure them
and tell me how guid a wis daein. A wis his favourite test subject, a compliment that
made me feel sick tae ma stomach. A wis gonnae get him that grant. A never telt him a
thought he wis insane, and a cannae tell him now acos ma vocal chords are fucked, but
a thought it the whole time.
A few days later, it wis time fur the second injection. He whisperit sweet nothins in ma
comically large ears, tellin me a wis the perfect specimen, that a wis a sure sign ae his
brilliance, that a wis the best yin he had, strokin ma hair back fae ma sweaty foreheid,
his face illuminatit lik a greasy moon by the sun ae the fluorescent licht above his heid.
A thought the injection wid hurt less acos a kent wit tae expect. A wis wrang. It felt lik
pure fire gaun intae ma veins. A hink it was acos a did ken whit tae expect that a didnae
dissociate lik a did last time. Instead, a felt every second ae the chemicals enterin ma
body, changin me, breakin me.
Anyhow, a startit growin a tail.
It wis aboot this point that a did stairt pretendin a wisnane in ma body, that a wis seein it
fae the ootside, that someyin else wis in there an a wis the maister watchin them. A
watched fae the ootside as a greasy tumour became a lang, windin, flickin tail. Ad
spend hoors jist starin at it. Flickin back an forth an back again, hittin the side ae the
chube wi a quiet thump, thump, thump.
The maitser liked me mair when a wis dissociated. He’d staund at the glass, jist starin at
me wi big eyes lik a wean iin a sweet shop. “Och, look at ye,” he’d say, measurin ma
flickerin tail. “Yer a beaut, ain’t ye?”
A didnae feel much lik a beaut. In the moments – those rare wee moments – when a
actual felt lik a wis in ma body, a felt lik a monster. Somhin mothers made up tae scare
their weans away fae strangers. A cuid almaist see the technicolour circus signs. Come
see the hideous rat-man.
And so on it went. Every few days heralded a new injection intae me, a new change to
mak me mair ratty, a new compliment fae the maister ootside ma chube. Days aw blent
intae yin. A grew fur; thick, course, broon stuff that hurt lik needles when it startit tae
grow, coverin me lik a cairpet. Ma teeth grew maire, hangin ower ma bottom lip nae
matter whit a did tae try an stop them. Ma vocal cords gave up the goat an stopped
workin. A couldnae even scream anymaire. A wis a monster, a rat-creature, tae
disguistin to properly fit intae any species box. Aw a cud do wis squeak lik the rat a had
became.
Ma chube became ma palace, ma land and estate ower which a wis the benevolent
ruler. Ad spend aw day lost in ma ain thoughts, imaginin parades ae little rat-creatures
worshipin ma disguistin form as a gift fae the rat gods.
A wis so lost in this paradise that a didnae notice the men when they came in.
They were dresst aw in black, walkin through the room wiout the anxious patter ae the
maister. They seemed… younger than the maister, maire rough aroond the edges,
laughin tae each other in the natural ease ae brotherhood. It made ma heart ache. It
wisnae fur me anymaire.
Then yin ae them noticit me.
He put his face richt up tae the glass, just lik the maister aiways did, but his eyes were
different. Crueler. He didnae hae glasses, an wiout the barrier a felt naked and watched,
maire than the maister ever made me feel.
A opent ma mooth tae say somhin, but aw that came oot was a weak squeak.
“Hey, come and take a look at this!” The boy – he couldnae had bin maire than fifteen –
yellt tae his pals across the room. “It’s some weird… giant rat?” The others ran ower tae
hae a peek, masked faces up tae the glass chube, eyes squintit in disgust.
They gawpt at me, speakin fast in accents a couldnae quite comprehend, tappin on the
glass an laughin as a flincht awa.
Eventually, yin by yin, they lost interest and wander awa tae destroy the place some
maire. A watchit as they threw paper aboot, breakin glass wi their bats, causin a ruckus.
A noticit yin stack a bunch ae paper up in the middle ae the ruim.
So a wisnae suprisit when yin ae them lit the match. It took a while tae spread, waitin
patiently as they aw mucked in wi maire paper an matches, but eventually it caught.
The heat wis overwhelmin. Tae much tae bear. Ma chube fogged up wi the smoke,
leavin the ootside wurld aw fuzzy and vague. A triet tae caw fur help, but ma vocal
cords were so fucked fae aw the changes that even a couldnae mak it oot, let alone the
men caught in their glorious destruction.
So a stood there, nae longer human, nae longer wurth savin, and waitit fur the body whit
wis nae longer mine tae burn to an unrecognisable chrisp.
