Blog by Shirley
Unlike high school, university has always felt like a blur—for me, it’s been a whirlwind of lectures, deadlines, and late-night chats with friends. Now, as I am close to finishing my second year and hitting the halfway point of my degree, I’ve found myself reflecting on just how much I’ve learned—not just academically, but through adjusting to a new environment, adapting to a different style of education, and connecting with new groups of people. Here are five lessons that have stuck with me so far.
Lesson #1: You don’t have to have it all figured out (and most people haven’t)
I think one of the biggest myths that a lot of people believe in is that by the end of first year, or most definitely by the second year, we are supposed to have everything figured out. I am talking about the endless questioning of have you figured out what you are going to do after your degree? Or do you have an idea for your dissertation? Social media puts it out there that people our age are achieving great things – they are planning out their summer internships, achieving a romantic relationship milestone, or getting the first-class grades ready for honours year. We get and put so much pressure on ourselves to have a perfect four-year plan, as if uncertainty means failure. But the truth is, university is really one of the few times in life where you can explore different career paths or academic interests, change your mind and then try things out again just to see what sticks. Whether it’s switching your major after realizing it’s not what you expected, discovering a new passion through a random elective, or figuring out the kind of lifestyle that really suits you, these moments of rethinking and reshaping are exactly what university is meant to hold space for.
I’ve had friends who went through those unexpected changes, and many of them say they feel more aligned and confident in their goals because they took that leap. In fact, I think university is the perfect place to figure things out—it’s a time to experiment, not settle. Honestly, it would feel a little scary to have everything fully figured out already, especially if you are only just wrapping up the two years that are set out for you to explore your academic interests. The world changes quickly: job markets shift, passions evolve, and unexpected life circumstances can flip your plans upside down. Being open to change—and not feeling guilty about it—isn’t a weakness. It’s what keeps you adaptable, curious, and open for whatever comes next.
Lesson #2: Not every opportunity is for you – and that’s okay
This lesson is tied closely with the first one. In the process of trying to figure out what I enjoy and what fits me academically or professionally, I and many others have fallen into the trap of saying yes to everything, or the so-called FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). It’s always because there is that underlying fear that if you don’t take every opportunity, you may just miss your “breakthrough or light bulb” moment or just fall behind your friends. But honestly, what I have learnt is that not every opportunity is meant for you and do take it from someone that has been involved with more than six societies in first year and was signing up to every volunteering scheme possible. Stretching yourself too thin, not letting yourself breathe, can actually cloud your sense of direction rather than clarify it.
I have had moments at university where I took on roles or volunteering positions just because they sounded impressive on my CV, not necessarily because they aligned with my values or my interests. It leads to a whole series of things – burnouts, lack of satisfaction because you are under the illusion that you are doing enough and guilt. Over time, I have come to realize that being selective about what you put yourself into and how you explore your passions is not about being lazy or ungrateful, but is to choose opportunities with intentionality. Think about the opportunities you have been involved in, because the right ones for you would motivate you, energize you, challenge you meaningfully, and align with who you are becoming and what you are learning out of it, not who you think you should become.
Lesson #3: University friendships can change, and that’s part of growing
This is definitely on the side of the unexpected lessons that I have learnt – is that university friendships can be incredibly situational, and they can definitely change. What’s important is accepting those changes in friendships and understanding that’s completely normal in university. In my first year, I became really close with certain friends because we were doing the same courses, lived in the same building, or kept each other company while trying to navigate a new environment together. But as time went on, same with new classes, new housing situations and routines evolving, some of those friendships naturally grew more distant. Let me tell you, it is definitely hard to accept, especially when so many of us are coming from a high school where the norm is that you stick with your friends, that you have your go-to friend group. But coming to university has taught me that friendships really don’t have to last forever to be meaningful. There are many that have had lasting friendships from the first day of university, but also so many of your friends could just be part of your life for a specific chapter. This doesn’t take away any of the meaning of friendship just because it may slowly fade.
In fact, letting go of the idea that every friendship needs to be permanent has taught me to appreciate the connections I do have, without the pressure of trying to force something to stay the same for the sake of it. It has taught me to be more present and grateful for the friends that are active in my life right now, while staying open-minded to embracing new forms of friendships that I have made throughout social or work. At the same time, navigating shifting university friendships have taught me to find comfort in my own company and lean into enjoying solo moments of studying or travelling without feeling like something or someone is missing. University itself is a constant state of flux, and so are the people in it. Accepting the shifts in your friendships doesn’t necessarily mean you have learnt to care less about friendships, it just means that you are learning to value people for the season they are in your university life, not just the length of time they are there for.
Lesson #4: Progress isn’t always linear and that can be a good thing
Another common misconception about your academic performance at university is that once you have hit rock bottom – struggled through your first essay, wrapped your head around feedback, or figured out the criteria for exams – progress will suddenly seem linear. But the truth is, it rarely works like that. You might have one semester where everything clicks, only to feel like you are back at square one in the next one. I have had courses that I thought I was so passionate about that I spent so much time researching about, only to get a disappointing grade because I forgot to check the updated referencing guidance. And I have come to realize – unlike what I was feeling in the moment, it was not a sign that I was “slipping away”, it’s just part of the learning curve. University challenges us in so many different ways at different times, and your learning curve may bend, loop or stall depending on your workload, a change of courses, and general expectations. Understanding and reflecting on the fact that progress is not a straight linear process has helped me to be more intentional and grounded with receiving feedback, and more focused on long term growth than short term perfection.
Lesson #5: Your degree is just one part of your education, and uni is so much more!
Last but not least, probably the one lesson that surprised me the most – your university education isn’t confined to what happens in lecture halls or what’s on your transcript. Some of the most valuable learning happens beyond your degree – it can be through the people we meet, the opportunities that we take on, the mistakes that we make, and the things you discover about your passions/personality along the way. Volunteering, working a part time job, interning for a non-profit or just having random coffee chats with people from completely different backgrounds, these experiences shaped me just as much – if not more – than the classes and discussions I have taken. There is so much to learn and discover, and being open-minded and throwing yourself out there (with boundaries), is probably one of the biggest privileges of being in university.
Hope you have enjoyed reading the five top lessons I have learnt halfway through my degree. Stay tuned from more posts!
