Blog by Pavithra Sarma, SGSSS ESRC-funded PhD student, Moray House School of Education and Sport, University of Edinburgh
“Walk away from it.
Learn to pick your battles.
Don’t be so negative.
You are overly sensitive.
You overthink things.
You are normal…. right?
Where are you from? You live in Edinburgh but you are not from here – so where are you really from?
If I were you, I would enforce rules. A child that cannot sleep is one who has been allowed to roam without rules and without discipline. They need to obey and know that you are the parent, the boss, the one in charge.
I genuinely don’t understand what racism is. I know you have explained it to me before but I got it only after my white pal explained it.
Neurodivergence does not exist – it is some made-up s**t to focus on that child who wants attention. It is important for children to know the rules of the space – or else they will always be attention-seeking.
You need to learn how to play the game.
How old are you anyway? You know, when you get to be my age and gain some experience, you will understand how to navigate spaces.
I have heard racism exists both ways. I have heard your opinion but I do listen to both white people and people of colour who believe that racism happens both ways, and so, I know.
You need to learn how to speak to white people, people with varied opinions and be compassionate in your engagement with white people”
The above phrases and words are some of the ones that I have been subjected to, repeatedly, as a Brown neurodivergent immigrant who is also a home educating womxn with various qualifications and intersections. There is always an assumption that I don’t know and that I am looking for advice when I am sharing my frustrations.
The harm caused is tangible and sometimes irrevocable – so everyone spewing these pearls of wisdom my way can go fuck themselves. I swear, I cuss and it is deemed improper, not academic within academic spaces and certainly not professional – but I will swear if I want to and I will stop when I am not subjected to violence and those who are systemically excluded and oppressed are not anymore. It would seem responses to violence are always penalised more than the acts of violence itself.
கற்றல் என்பது வாழ்நாள் முழுவதும் என்று நான் நம்புகிறேன் (Tamizh), which means, ‘I believe that learning is lifelong’. What makes someone ‘normal’ or ‘neurotypical’? These are both inherently oppressive words. How has the concept of normality been normalised over centuries and what is its connection to the impact of European colonisation and coloniality?
What is Neurodivergence (ND)?
Neurodivergence, a term coined by autistic sociologist Judy Singer, refers to neurological differences or different ways in which brains are wired, process, and relay information. It also refers to behavioural differences exhibited by individuals in a manner not considered to be ‘neurotypical’ or demonstrating cognitive normality, ‘typical’ behaviour and processing.
Not all ND people perceive themselves as being disabled, and not all ND individuals have disabilities classified as such under mental health disorders and / or pivotal diagnostic classification systems used worldwide.
ND seeks to normalise and celebrate differences in the way we are rather than to be defined via a deficit perspective as espoused by the medical disability model. Many of us in activism and community support work use the term neurodivergence and also recognise that self-identification is valid as so many people are not able to access systems or are often denied diagnoses, due to systemic and intersecting barriers and oppression.
Neurodivergence can refer to those who are autistic, dyslexic, dyspraxic, ADHDers, have bipolar disorder, etc. Neurodivergence is also considered a disability under the Equality Act, 2010 in the UK.
Whiteness and ND
Whiteness has systematically created knowledges where LGBTQ+, ND, and disabled People of Colour (POC) do not exist. Also, disconnecting people from systems that one benefits from allows the notion of the ‘good white person’ to flourish. This is particularly subversive to any actual and meaningful social change, when unconscious bias trainings are allowed to burgeon enabling white people to disentangle themselves from responsibility around racism and for upholding power imbalances.
White people have the privilege of being part of a system and dominant structures where white is seen as the norm, and, as a result, can explore their neurodivergence and various identities within white spaces and contexts where whiteness markets itself as progressive, and where unfettered conversations around disabilities happen.
However, what is excluded from these narratives are the eugenic history of how neurodivergence was and continues to be weaponised and criminalised; The Origin of Species by Darwin alongside Frances Galton’s theory on eugenics, for example, was used to justify forced sterilisation in the United States and in the Nazi concentration camps by Hitler, where many of the people who were also systemically targeted were LGBTQ+, disabled and POC. The racial history of IQ testing, usage of pseudoscience and race ‘science’ in using ableism to justify segregation, enslavement, immigration policies, racist medical policies, health practices and, hence weaponising it, have also resulted in the codification of ‘able’ white, cis-gendered and heterosexual populations as ‘normal’.
Donning the mantle of the coloniser’s mentality, while embracing and reiterating existing historical inequities, ensures that the colonised maintain and replicate the colonial ways of being or coloniality. Hence, as people of colour, we continue to think and understand ourselves within anglocentric and Western markers, even as we may sometimes recognise that these markers erase us, invisibilise us and seek to unify the way we are under the white gaze.
So we simply cannot look at neurodivergence as a single category disconnected from everything else because this categorisation, the reiteration of hierarchies and the tethering of this mindless conditioning around the binary within social stratifications, are some of the cornerstones of European colonisation. We cannot deny that these have indeed contributed to the continued success of colonisation and coloniality. How are our Muslim autistic Black and Brown boys of colour, our autistic girls of colour, femmes of colour, non-binary and trans folx of colour seen in these conversations and policymaking that hold so much power? They are not.
Workspaces that advertise themselves as ‘inclusive’ and ND-friendly seem to only legitimise the voices of white ND people. Intersectionality is neither seen nor understood and this was certainly exemplified by the different forms of violence I have been subjected to within Government sub-committees that I have been a part of. I am the ‘angry Brown womxn’, ‘the problem’, and am condescended to when I have disclosed my ND or have raised repeatedly that we are being asked to be anti-racist and ‘decolonise’ within Eurocentric frameworks, which do not make sense. The majority of these spaces are very white with the interests of the children and young people of colour in Scotland represented via tokenistic measures, more policies, documents alongside self-aggrandizement from white colleagues who were platformed for their ‘knowledge’.
The personal impact
My attention going to many things (ADHD) or as the Māori call it, aroretini, is something I am learning to value and embrace about myself… and I will forever be grateful to the Te AKA Māori dictionary for the most amazing phrases to describe various forms of neurodivergence and the incredible work by Māori scholars around decolonisation. I neither have a deficit of attention nor do I have a disorder. I have a different way of working with things, different approaches to problems and in the way I see the intersections between concepts, work, life and living. I have never thought inside the box and I do not understand what this even means. However, I have been repeatedly penalised for not following and questioning rules that did not make sense to me, which has then impacted my physical and mental health… and yet I resist.
Discussions about neurodivergence (ND) and ableism, like other forms of oppression, are dominated by white people telling people of colour what is and isn’t ableist. The impact of ableism and internalised ableism amongst communities of colour is also critical here, as this too allows and enables whiteness to flourish with those needing help or a different way to thrive, not getting the support they require.
How culture and language intersect with ND is also not acknowledged or understood, and neither is what decolonisation actually entails when moving away from the ‘white gaze’. However, will this actually happen within spaces fostered by colonial architectures? For example, various ways of existing and passing of knowledge from our ancestry are seen as ‘creative’ and ‘not scholarly’ enough because it is devoid of the repackaging, appropriation and the stamp of approval required of whiteness. While many white communities could also claim this applied to them e.g. those from rural and heritage communities (e.g. from the Highland and Islands), those most globally impacted are from the Global South and East, due to the codification and normalisation of whiteness and how racism manifests itself within whiteness.
I realised as a young child that society was not structured to accommodate my whizzing brain which races rapidly a lot of the times when I have so many ideas and I see the connections across so many thoughts and fields, resulting in physical exhaustion and the feeling of laziness. Also, as a result of recent illnesses and combined with ND, I get exhausted sitting and writing for more than a few minutes as I am still recovering. My physical disability impacts my executive functioning, particularly when it comes to needing to focus on something that I have spent weeks on and have very little to do to complete it. My working memory is in limbo and I have to prioritise managing my pain. I know from talking, working with and being around other ND people that it impacts us in different ways.
However, since our systems are rooted in colonial violence, there is a demand that I conform and navigate via the rigid parameters imposed upon me. I am told that there is a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way for me to learn, navigate and be in academia. I cannot and will not do this as I also do not want my children to apologise for the gifts that they possess and support them while they navigate systemic and societal barriers. I want them to be able to access learning mechanisms that enable them to soar in all the ways I know they can and will. The constant fights and energy I invest in educating systems that care only about not relinquishing power unless it means looking good politically (interest convergence anyone?), also means that I am consistently having to deal with my very strong and innate response to injustice, sense of isolation and deep levels of exhaustion.
For example, I recently advocated for multimodal methods of submission for my Masters work and this has also been chalked up to my finding academia ‘challenging’ by a few people. However, this is to do with exploring ways to decolonise, challenge and disrupt the rigid imposition of criteria and standards by academia, which unrelentingly serve whiteness and western ways of thinking. The connection between decolonisation and neurodivergence, in my view, is not remotely understood, and, so what, if a student finds something challenging? The assumption that grades are synonymous with intelligence and perceiving a student finding something challenging as being less than capable, are all ludicrous ableist statements.
I have been told repeatedly that systemic change can take a long time. However, when change is perceived as necessary and convenient, it can happen quickly. One example is the recent university Marking and Assessment Boycott campaign that has received much publicity. To enable students to graduate, some universities have developed a sudden ability to effect a rapid systemic change in conferring degrees sans grades or feedback to Undergraduate students. Apparently, systemic change is possible to protect the system’s vested interests, to protect the power and safeguard finances, as opposed to actually caring about students. In the current situation, those particularly affected are international students, the majority of whom are of colour, who have paid almost three to four times the home rate to boost university profits. If this is not racial capitalism also exemplifying the extractivism involved, then what is?
White people have the privilege of choosing to engage and remain detached when engaging in conversations around our trauma and collective liberation. I cannot do this but one thing has been clear since I started to embrace and value myself – I have stood alone plenty of times in my life but I know that in resisting and disrupting, I am becoming… and I will continue to be.
About the author
Pavithra (Pavi) is a home educating parent, anti-racism consultant, researcher, a comics and music buff, who is an SGSSS ESRC-funded PhD student at Moray House. Pavi’s background is inter-disciplinary with a focus on the intersects between climate justice, human rights, equity and racialisation, with her current Masters and upcoming PhD work exploring home education and self-directed learning using postcolonial radical feminist autoethnography. Pavi has also worked in community engagement, third sector and in domestic violence enabling her to see the lacunae between policies, theories and practice, thus facilitating her own (un)earning around whiteness and the need to address injustices from an intersectional and anticolonial lens.
