DISCO DANCER SLAMS BLOBBY BOSS
RANDAN Discoteque star Craig Coulthard has revealed that not being in a band could become boring. The opinionated Scottish songsmith refused to address claims that Bonkers Britain red tape has had an impact on his songwriting.
The controversial 21-year-old Scot is now busy building a music career with his band and said: “It’s no fun when Am no singing and no writing songs.” The comments were taken out of context as a personal attack on troubled DJ Noel Edmonds.
The Scots singer, who, in a surprise move, has been told he will win roles on TV and in the movies, said: “Acting might be good for me because A’ve always been called a drama queen.”
He’s planning to spend at least six months out of each year with the band and added: “I’m still going to do music. It’s my first love.”
Brandishing his guitar, the calm song star, who hails from Scotland, claimed that his new hit record Daily Record was “so appealing, so stimulating and so novel”.
Coulthard reckons there’s nothing better than kicking back with a copy of the paper and a cup of tea. “I like a nice cup of tea an ma paper. It’s my first love”, he said from his home in Scotland.
A survey of Randan fans revealed that Coulthard’s notorious comments were largely supported. 65% of youngsters said they followed his gigs regularly, with more teenagers (31%) listening to his new single compared with those overall who are yet to hear it (18%).
Edmonds refused to comment.
The full interview appears in this week’s Hullo magazine.
Having made some dodgy choices in the bloke department, I’m accustomed to the kind of derision my crush on Craig Coulthard attracts. There is a peace to be found in coming to terms with your own lack of judgment and I know it’s wrong to fancy Coulthard. He has many down sides, such as being a peacenik and not having a double chin, but then, there’s no logic to love. But the greatest shocker of all came this week from a top female aide who claimed Coulthard is an avid tabloid reader.
The swine. We heard this from a key Holyrood pollster. It could have been a ploy to boost sales of his new single, Daily Record, but she became so coquettish that, in her head at least, it had to be true. The interview was on radio, but I could just see her boobs heaving and her eyelashes batting.
Coulthard is a brooder, he has all ingredients that make him romantic fodder of the Catherine Cookson ilk. Large numbers of groupies have lined up of late to declare Coulthard as something of a newspaper geek.
It’s fair to say that Coulthard doesn’t have much going for him, the newsprint stained fingers, songs about bombs going off, not to mention some very tight-fitting jeans. My crush developed when he made an impromptu riff at a Bridiegate fundraiser. We all know the way to a woman’s heart, and indeed knickers, is to explain current affairs in song. Coulthard, the Trevor MacDonald of Brunstfield, I want to be your current affair.
