There I was, scrolling through LinkedIn, when a post stopped me in my tracks: ‘Have you ever been commsplained?’ It was a moment of instant recognition. ‘Commsplaining’ is real, and while subtle, it is a more common example of workplace dynamic than you might think.
We explain to everyone, all the time
Indeed, many a time, a colleague, who is not a comms professional, has tried to explain communications (or something about communications) to me. However, unlike the infamous notion of ‘mansplaining’ derived from the influential essay by Rebecca Solnit, the person wouldn’t necessarily be condescending. And time and again, colleagues make confident statements about comms-related issues to me, while being wrong. Or sometimes, very wrong.
We probably all do it with no malice and feel embarrassed when it’s pointed out that we are talking to an expert, or that we are wrong and why (again, different from the case of ‘mansplaining,’ which includes the ‘mansplainer’ not being embarrassed).
Number 10 Downing Street
Photo by: Sergeant Tom Robinson
under the Open Government Licence version 1.0 (OGL v1.0).RLC/MOD
After all, most of us think we know, for example, what the government should be doing, what policies it should pursue, and in what timelines, even though hardly any of us have experience governing.
It’s the opposite of impostor syndrome: a cognitive bias that makes us believe we know more than we do, and since we don’t know what we don’t know – well, we are blissfully ignorant!
Lift them up, don’t bring them down
However, the problem with preaching to the experts is how it makes them feel – I certainly get irritated when it happens to me. It’s also not always obvious how to tactfully make the ‘commsplainer’ aware that what they are sharing is not news to me: on the contrary, I have already tried and tested the exact same idea. Most people who approach me in a professional context know that I work in comms. Still, they are ignorant of the fact that I must have knowledge about it, resulting from education, qualifications, and some 20 years of experience.
But it gets worse: when we tell people what they already know, positioning ourselves as experts, we might inadvertently make them doubt themselves or even underestimate their own expertise. Especially, if they perceive us as being in a position of power. In this case, it is no different to ‘mansplaining,’ or simply patronising anyone, who we have power over (even if perceived only).
Do we want our expert colleagues to feel they lack expertise? Or do we want to empower them to be even better at what they do?
Patience is everything
I chatted with a couple of academic colleagues about situations when I wouldn’t be given credit for my knowledge and expertise and instead be lectured, and they pointed out the obvious: ‘That’s probably because we are lecturers! So, it sounds like we are lecturing, but we do not mean to.’
It gave me something to consider. Most people don’t mean to be mean; they might just be wearing their ‘lecturer’s hat.’
The author of the meme I started my post with suggests that the best strategy to deal with ‘commsplaining’ is not to take it personally. Be respectful and kind and take the ’lecturing’ in good spirits.
Last summer the InfComms team hosted a summer intern, a lovely and inquisitive Aagoon, who asked me: ‘What is the most important skill in comms?’ Without a second thought, I said ‘patience.’
A lot of work in communications is done in the background, in the solitude of one’s office. The outcome (a story, a social media post, a newsletter, a paragraph in someone else’s comms, a website, a microsite, an ad, or a blog) can seem easy to create. But there is a lot of work behind the scenes to do research, ask questions, proofread, refine, re-write whole passages to ensure the message is accurate and appropriate, and so on. It can sometimes take weeks to develop one output. If the outcome seems ‘easy’ and not laboured then your comms colleagues have done their job right. But it might have required a lot of effort and knowledge. Just because you can’t see the work put into achieving something, it doesn’t mean someone didn’t work extremely hard for things to happen.
It’s a bit like seeing your GP, who takes one look at your results and diagnoses you. Easy! But it took years of study and experience to be able to do that.
Be like Lieutenant Columbo
Peter Falk as Lt Columbo, public domain
For a comms professional, patience isn’t just a virtue; it’s a necessity. You need to do, what I call ‘being Columbo’ (referring to the persistent and thorough detective portrayed by Peter Falk in the classic TV series): keep asking questions, until you are absolutely certain that you have all the knowledge you need to write your story accurately, and that you’re observing embargoes, not stepping on anyone’s toes, and not dumbing down the story.
But you also need a lot of patience to deal with outside pressures: deadlines, expectations, and yes, you guessed it, ‘commsplainers.’
We all communicate every day, so it’s easy to assume that we all have a level of expertise in comms. It may result in putting undue pressure on or having an unreasonable expectation of our colleagues working in comms roles.
However, when you’re at the receiving end of such pressures, you need a lot of patience to listen and explain what is and isn’t possible, and more importantly, what is and isn’t good practice. But, on the other hand, if someone takes the time to come to you with their ideas, even if they sound like lecturing, consider listening and harnessing their enthusiasm. Use the opportunity to share your knowledge and expertise to manage their expectations and teach them something new.
If you find yourself advising the expert, take a moment to reflect: are you offering new insight, or might you be ‘commsplaining’? Perhaps start with giving some kudos to your comms colleague for their effort and expertise before sharing your ideas. Make them feel like the expert that they are and listen to their words of wisdom. After all, they have been doing it for a little while longer than you. Appreciating them will take you a long way and maybe will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Collectively, we can shift our workplace dynamics toward mutual respect and understanding.
Disclaimer 1: Sometimes people will just be patronising and malicious. Don’t dwell on them.
Disclaimer 2: I asked ELM to proofread the final copy of this blog (and used some of its proposed improvements)
About the author: Kasia Kokowska is the Marketing, Communications and Outreach Manager at the School of Informatics, at the University of Edinburgh. She has an MA in Journalism and Social Communications and an MSc in science Communications and Public Engagement. She’s a member of STEMPRA and CIPR.
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If you haven’t, you should also read two great blogs about the impostor syndrome, written by Andrea and Eillidh:
Am I even good enough to have imposter syndrome??
