Psst – don’t listen to me!

Many of us will have heard that nagging impostor voice:
“Am I really cut out for this?”
In science and academia we set out to explore the unknown and push the boundaries of what’s possible. And to be up for this task, we are supposed to gather the best and brightest minds. But this expectation of excellence and superb accomplishment – from within and outside the academic community, and above all, the expectation we hold up to ourselves personally – is a high one to live up to!
It is only natural (and perhaps honest?) to occasionally hear out the inner impostor voice. But we should have a level conversation with it and respond with confidence grounded in facts of proven skills and accomplishments, which surely cannot all be ascribed to luck. Because it is a problem when the impostor voice becomes a constant companion, when self-doubt in our skills, talents and accomplishments, feelings of guilt and the fear of being exposed become an urge to constantly prove our worth and dominate our professional decision-making.
That pressure will only hold us back from performing at our best and so perpetuate the struggle with living up to expectations, however unreasonable they may be.
Sufferers of impostor syndrome typically feel undeserving of their achievements, which translates to a sense of not belonging. Other factors that make us feel not belonging can therefore compound the impostor voice. For example, compared to their peers, ethnic minority students more often question the grounds on which they were accepted into the program, assuming it was due to affirmative action rather than an extraordinary application. This can certainly also hold true for members with other underrepresented or marginalised characteristics – be it due to gender, sexual orientation or gender identity, personal beliefs or social background – and the lack of role models intensifies the sense of not belonging. On top of that, in our academic sector, where interdisciplinary research is becoming more and more commonplace, even the background of expertise can be a source of insecurity and awaken the impostor voice.
While some characteristics may be outwardly evident, others aren’t. For example, in our international community, social background is a more hidden feature than in more heterogeneous circles. We can’t generally tell which of our colleagues and students are the first in their families to go to university or may have had to overcome socio-economic obstacles to do so, all of which can nurture the impostor voice.
Impostor syndrome can substantially impact mental health and work performance, and its voice is silent – we can’t know who struggles with it, and even if we did, their reasons may be invisible to us. But we can be mindful that it is a prevalent issue in our community, and we can do our best to be compassionate and inclusive and challenge actions that we feel undermine the sense of deserving and inclusivity of the people around us.

What I learnt at the ACM WomEncourage Conference

I went to the WomEncourage conference in Trondheim, Norway in September 2023, and here are some lessons that I learnt.

  • It’s amazing to be in a female-dominated computing environment. We are all used to spaces where people are talking about computing being very male dominated.  Mostly that is ok, and mostly we can feel welcome and part of that environment.  But it’s a wonderful change to be discussing technical details about computing in a room that is 80% female – being in the majority feels good.
  • Women working together is inspiring and uplifting. WomEncourage was formed by a group of women who had been working to support other women in their home countries and came together to form ACM-W Europe, and soon after came up with the idea of an annual conference – here is the inspiring story.  Anyone in tech can join ACM-W and get involved in working with this community, and this is something I would very much encourage our female staff and students to do.
  • Hackathons don’t have to focus on coding. The WomEncourage hackathon required teams to come up with innovative ideas about how tech could create meaningful solutions to some of the UN Sustainable Development Goals.  Understanding tech and having plausible ideas about what could work was key, but the focus was on hacking the ideas and not the code.
  • There is a huge skills gap in ethics and DEI in tech. Employers cannot find enough people with technical skills who also have an understanding of:
    • How to support and encourage diversity within the workplace (tech firms are often terrible at this and want to get better)
    • How to develop technology that is ethically aware and accessible to all – e.g., not just aimed at the most common (white, male) demographic

Encouraging our students to develop these skills is not just about doing the right thing – it’s about equipping our students for the modern job market and helping tech firms fill these crucial roles.

  • Most people (companies, universities, etc.) are doing the right thing in terms of talking about unconscious bias and other diversity issues. But very often this has very little payoff because it’s not deeply engrained into every day life but instead is an add on.  This is rarely effective.
  • In university settings, ethics is often taught as a separate or additional subject rather than as a core part of every single branch of CS and tech – and it’s often taught by people with no background in ethics. Every time we teach or learn anything, we should regard thinking about the ethical and societal impacts to be as important as the technical knowledge.
  • The paths into tech careers are many and various. Women and other minorities can flourish by following a ‘standard’ path in tech or by creating a new path that focusses on their passions and skills.  Birgit Penzenstadler, whose research focusses on sustainable software development, talked about how she brings yoga and mindfulness into her teaching and research practice.
  • There’s some great music in Trondheim, from the all-female student a cappella group that welcomed us to the conference (https://media.ed.ac.uk/media/WomEncourage+Conference+-+welcome/1_jajg1v42) to an organ recital on the largest organ in northern Europe in Nidaros Cathedral (https://media.ed.ac.uk/media/womEncourage+conference+-+recital/1_667zdc01)

If you want to see the Northern Lights, you’ve got to be patient and hope the clouds will part.

Peri-menopause

The following is posted on behalf of an anonymous member of the School community.

Considering it affects all our colleagues with ovaries (and their families too), I wanted to share a few pointers about peri-menopause.

I was ignorant. Very ignorant.

  • I thought menopause happens around age 60. In fact, the average is 51.
  • But most women will suffer symptoms from age 41-45, many already at 38-40.
  • I thought the symptoms would be the popular “hot flushes”. But those arrive years later (or not at all), the first symptoms could be pain in your joints, shortness of breath, dry eyes or dozens of others (some of us thought we had long covid…)
  • I thought doctors would prescribe hormonal replacement therapy (HRT) for it, in many cases.
  • However, many doctors have no training in it, there is a shortage of HRT, and some will tell you that “most women will pass through menopause without medical help”.
  • That’s accurate; not because medical support is not important, but because HRT was not prescribed much in the past…
  • You may have to ask around to find a doctor who can inform you about HRT.
  • If you and your doctor decide for it, it’s free with the NHS.
  • I thought menopause was just a few weeks of hot flushes, and then ageing continues as usual.
  • Instead, perimenopause can last from a year to 12 years (about 4 or 5 years seems to be common).
  • While the symptoms are bad enough, the worst might come after ten or twenty years, particularly if hormonal replacement therapy is not used.
  • It can set the stage for osteoporosis (and hence bone fractures), bladder infections, incontinence and even a higher risk of some diseases such as Alzheimer’s.
  • It can be particularly stressful for people with a history of mental health problems, possibly contributing to a peak in suicides in women around 50-54.
  • But at the same time, hormonal replacement therapy is associated with an increase in breast cancer and stroke risk,  depending on family history. The hammer and the anvil. Welcome to middle age.
  • As usual, read the statistics carefully and rely on medical sources (NHS, EU EMA, reviews from The Lancet) and medical professionals, but well-written books can provide a useful introduction.
  • I would recommend reading at least one book by a doctor having ovaries and peri or post-menopausal.
  • I thought that if the symptoms were so bad, surely friends would have told me about it, but it’s not a jolly topic to discuss. And there is a lot of stigma. Ask around politely, and people may be kind enough to share.
  • Also, women from your mother’s generation may not have been informed enough to connect the dots with all the symptoms that appear sometimes years after their periods stop.
  • I thought one could wait to see if the symptoms go away, and if not, use hormonal replacement therapy, but there is a window of opportunity in peri-menopause to start it, so do inform yourself in advance.

Hope you will find this information useful now or in the future. Please note that any medical treatment (or herbal extracts containing human-analogue hormones) incurs risks that you will have to evaluate in consultation with your medical practitioners.

A Single Traveller’s Guide to starting out in the School of Informatics

Ah! The thrill of embarking on a new adventure! Whether it’s hopping on a plane to a foreign land, or starting out as a new student or staff member at the University of Edinburgh – the excitement and nervousness are almost indistinguishable. During a recent two-week holiday to Croatia, I came to realise that there are more similarities between these journeys than you might think. Here are some of the parallels I drew while travelling alone in an unknown country.

Navigating the unknown

Arriving in a new country is scary. Not knowing how to get from A to B can be really daunting. However, taking a leap of faith and stepping out into the cobbled back streets of Zadar old town, I realised that discovering new places can also be exciting. I started to like the feeling of being lost and discovered some amazing sights: the sea organ; roman ruins; and the best fried sardines EVER! As I explored this unknown city, I realised that this is how it must feel to be a new student or staff member turning up at Appleton Tower or the Informatics Forum for the very first time. Getting lost at university is inevitable; but it is something to embrace, not fear. Trying to find Lecture Hall AT_ M2, an obscure meeting room or a computer lab in a maze-like university campus provides you with opportunities to stumble across hidden gems… like the NASA Valkyrie interactive experience installed at Bayes Centre NASA Valkyrie interactive experience installed at Edinburgh Centre for Robotics in the Bayes Centre, and the mindfulness Labyrinth in the north-west corner of George Square Gardens.

Making Friends

As a single traveller, you’re thrown into situations where you are forced to make friends with complete strangers. The same is true of university life. Attending your first cohort event, lecture or society as a new student is likely to be nerve-wracking. Trying to meet new people and form connections can be difficult and tiring. It’s certainly how I felt at times during my holiday. But be brave – try not to let your nerves get the better of you. Putting yourself ‘out there’ and speaking to people gets easier the more you do it. And it’s also an essential part of being at university. University isn’t just about attending lectures and tutorials: it also about getting to know your peers, academics, and professional services staff to create a lasting support network that is vital to your success and enjoyment as you embark on a new chapter in your academic journey.

Language and Culture

Travelling to a foreign country often means grappling with a new language. Suddenly ‘cold’ becomes ‘baltic’ and ‘sandwich’ becomes ‘piece’. In the School of Informatics, it’s not only human language we need to wrap our heads around – we also need to get to grips with computer language. When I started at the School of Informatics I remember feeling completely overwhelmed by the acronyms and systems: Haskell, Java, Theon, and DICE. I didn’t just feel like foreigner – I felt as if I’d landed on another planet! However, as time has gone on, I have found myself to be at home here and that the School of Informatics is actually “pure dead brilliant”. Academics have taken the time to explain to me with enthusiasm and patience the wonderful research that is taking place, right here, under my nose. What I enjoy so much about being part of a world-leading research community is the rich cultural diversity of staff and students it attracts. Few other Schools can boast the representation of over 100 countries. As someone who loves travelling, this aspect of the school really excites me.

Values

Some of us are new to the School of Informatics and are just starting out on their journeys. Others have been part of the fabric of the school for a long time. However, whether we are embarking on or continuing our travels, what I find reassuring is that the People and Culture Committee has worked hard to create and establish a set of Values that can guide us all. So, no matter what our background, each one of us feels welcomed, respected, and appreciated for the extraordinary and invaluable contribution we make to the Informatics community. No matter what challenges you face, I know that you will find these values in everyone and everywhere you look: Civility, Collaboration, Curiosity, Integrity, and Humility.

What’s the fuss over pronouns?

Why do some people care about pronouns? What’s the fuss? Over nothing?

 

All good questions. You can refer to me as Jonathan, him, him over there, that guy in IGS, the tall one, him and that makes sense because I look like what people think a guy should look like. I like to wear a spikey rainbow ear stud I got at Belfast City airport Claire’s Accessories (classy!) and wear a Progress Pride flag lanyard (hands up who knows what that’s all about) but generally my attire is your boring jeans and shirt/t-shirt. I’m wearing blue today. It’s probably easy to get my gender right from a glance.

 

What if you didn’t know me, you saw me down the corridor, with my back to you, my hair was long, I had bracelets on my wrists, wearing pink. Do you have unconscious bias, built into you from birth, that girls wear pink and have long hair? Most of us do, growing up in countries which to this day sell pink for girls and blue for boys, where gender reveal parties provide one of these two colours to announce to your audience the genitalia on the scan. The thing is, we know better, especially working in a higher education institution where people feel more confident that they can experiment with who they are, find out about themselves, discover. People more and more are discovering that the thoughts they had from a young age, about not fitting into the body with the genitalia that everyone assumed, doesn’t mean they have to live the rest of their life as what modern day ‘Western’ society tells them they’re supposed to be.

 

A widely respected body, the World Health Organisation has reviewed the research and concluded that trans people exist, that it’s not a mental health condition as was once believed, that people should be supported to transition and live their lives how they understand themselves to be. Their pronouns will change, they may look different to how you first met them; for them they will look how they have always felt they should look. It’s about respecting one another. We must use those new pronouns, use their new name, ask how they are and hope we can be good enough for them to want to still give us their time, not be feared that we’ll use their old name, their old pronouns. You will make mistakes. Apologise as soon as you realise. Try not to make the same mistake again. If you don’t do it well enough they won’t want to give you another chance. They won’t want to work with you.

 

A male police officer made a mistake about my sexuality and I will always remember it. He asked me about my wife, after I had reported a crime. My husband was out and I was on my own. He was in my home with another male police officer. It wasn’t long ago. I was probably 40. Why is my age relevant? I have built up a reasonable amount of self-confidence by now to be able to correct him. It was the funniest thing, how red he went, apologising profusely. His fellow police officer was amused at his colleague’s error. You can imagine they talked about it later. At one point I wouldn’t have corrected him. It might happen again, I will remember and I will always expect that possibility from every police officer in the future.

 

If people assume they know my sexuality, it can be incredibly uncomfortable for both of us when they realise their mistake. Maybe you’ve experienced that yourself. Maybe you’ve had a non-traditional hairstyle for your gender. At some point you’ll have chosen your outfit to look masculine – I have – or to look how a woman is expected to look. It’s similarly uncomfortable every day someone assumes they know another person’s gender and they’re wrong. Every day. For students and staff in Informatics. Pronouns matter to them. Using their correct pronouns matters to their friends. It’s not a fuss over nothing. It’s people’s lives, their self-confidence, their feelings, whether they feel comfortable at this University, in the classroom or the workplace, and that should matter to us all.

 

For further reading:

https://pronouns.org

https://www.glsen.org/activity/pronouns-guide-glsen

https://www.stonewall.org.uk/workplace-trans-inclusion-hub/beginner’s-guide-pronouns-and-using-pronouns-workplace

A Short Guide to Sharing Pronouns for Trans Allies

 


Catering and dietary options

Many Informatics folks, including me, enjoy occasional meals provided by the school, some in a meeting or social event, but perhaps more often as leftovers announced in the inf-people mailing list. Many of us are aware of some patterns, including catering suppliers, dietary options and serving time.

Some, including me, might have been wondering why some events only provide vegetarian options, likewise, why we see vegetarian options more often than others in the leftovers. I initially felt that non-vegetarians are neglected and thus raised the concern in a People & Culture committee meeting. Then some of the colleagues explained that the school adopts the default-vegetarian catering policy simply for sustainability and most of the events in the school offer multiple options to choose when booking!

I was happy to hear that, because food, in both ingredients and cooking methods, is part of the culture for many people and thus we should respect that of each other. At the same time I personally agree with defaulting to the most sustainable option, as food not explicitly chosen is more likely wasted. We can find the environmental impact of food ingredients in [1], and more about the university’s effort on sustainability in [2], which describes awards, projects, training and outcomes.

It should be noted that leftovers are only available after announcement in the inf-people mailing list, so let’s not take them before that. It is a little bit sad to see “Only for participants” signage in the forum ground floor lately, as it implies greedy informatics residents to the external guests.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Environmental_vegetarianism
[2] https://www.ed.ac.uk/sustainability

School Values, part 2

Three months ago we opened for discussion a draft of our School Values, a proposed list developed by a group of about 25 people. There have been many contributions and views, often very thoughtful. It’s great to see that a large part of our School community is involved and actively helps to ground our shared values!

Two main themes coming out of this discussion were that the previous list was not specific to Informatics, too generic. We have curated suggestions and have now adopted the following as our School values, which are more specific to our work and are easier to base decisions and actions on. This is the end result of careful contributions of around 100 people.

Civility
We treat everyone considerately, care for each other, and seek to influence society responsibly.

Collaboration
We share responsibilities across our community, work together to achieve our goals, and help each other effect positive change.

Curiosity
We seek diverse evidence and opinions, and welcome things that challenge our views as an opportunity to learn.

Integrity
We make decisions as rationally and transparently as we can.

Humility
We acknowledge that our understanding of the world and each other is always incomplete, and revise continually.

Many more aspects that we do value highly may not be highlighted enough, but we have to prioritise. As our common culture evolves naturally, so will the underlying Values. Therefore this record will be revised in years to come, but for now the School is adopting these as its core principles.

Our next goal is to ensure that actions and decisions, especially tricky ones, can be led back to these Values. At all levels of our organisation. So whenever you next wonder “How can I best help this colleague?”, “How should I collaborate with that company?”, “What shall I prioritise when training students?”, “How can I communicate about working with this new system?”, or “What direction is best for my research group to go in?”, you can remember we have shared values you can fall back on to guide you.


Diversity Event at AAMAS-23 Conference

In the last week of May, I attended the International Conference on Autonomous Agents and Multiagent Systems (AAMAS) 2023 conference in person. This was the first in person conference after the pandemic, and the location of the event was London, which was an easy destination to reach but also an expensive destination to stay.  AAMAS brings together researchers from all over the world.

AAMAS participants are attending the keynote given by Karl Tuyls.

The keynote from Karl Tuyls at AAMAS-23 (Photo credit: Sebastian Stein)

I would like to talk about a Diversity and Inclusion activity included in AAMAS 2023. A diversity lunch event has been organized to bring together participants of the conference. The goal was to share ideas for how to increase diversity at the conference and in our community. There was a panel consisting of Catholijn Jonker, Delft University of Technology, the Netherlands; Sarit Kraus, Bar-Ilan University, Israel and  Manuela Veloso, J.P. Morgan, USA. The panel was chaired by Maria Gini, University of Minnesota, USA. It was a bit disappointing that the panel was not diverse enough (e.g., four white women talking about their own careers). However, I really enjoyed all the stories shared by the speakers.  

Have a mentor to get career advice. Jonker emphasized the importance of having mentors in her life, since she was always part of a male-dominated research community. In her case, Maria Gini was her mentor, who was her role model. Jonker said she still continues getting advice from Maria. I believe this is a powerful message. It does not matter how senior you are in your career; it is always important to have mentors you can trust and talk to when you need advice.

Improve your time management skills. Kraus shared her story about how she became a successful academic while raising her kids. She had to establish a work-life balance; her life story showed that one does not necessarily need to give up on things. 

Avoid confronting colleagues in group settings. The stories shared by Manuela Veloso were really interesting because she is someone who has both academic and industry experience. When she was working as an academic, she said she was not listened to during meetings even if she was sharing a very interesting idea. However, when a male colleague of her was saying exactly the same thing, others in the meeting were supporting his idea. She said such things were upsetting her a lot, since she was the one putting so much effort to come up with an original idea. Her advice was not to confront such people in a group setting. Instead, having a one-to-one conversation with such colleagues would be more effective. I will definitely take this advice!

Be a voice not an echo. – Albert Einstein

Do care about people in your life. Veloso mentioned that she really cares about people and her relationships with them. Her advice, similar to Kraus’ advice, was about work-life balance. She said not to focus on achieving many things by working for long hours. Instead, her advice was to spend time with people such as colleagues, friends and family. She said people will forget about your achievements, but they will always remember how you treated others. I also liked this advice; it is important to invest time to build meaningful relationships.

Do you have power? Use it wisely! Veloso emphasized that people with power are the ones who could take positive actions, people are likely to listen to others on power. Since she is leading an AI group at J.P. Morgan at the moment, she said she was using her power to build a diverse gender-balanced team. I think this is a good message for the community as well. People with power can make changes more easily than others. When you hold such a position, you can support people around you and be their voice (and not undermine them!).   

I really hope that Diversity and Inclusion activities will become an essential part of conferences we attend. Such activities are excellent to create a safe space for everyone, participants can speak with each other and share their expertise. It is not always easy to speak up, but listening to other people’s stories can help us to realize that we are not alone. This can also give us the confidence to share our own stories.  

 

 


Decorating offices

People like to be surrounded by things they like. Having a workspace that you like makes you happier [1], more productive [2], and even behave more ethically [3]. Nobody wants to work in a soulless environment. Therefore the School of Informatics fully supports you personalising your office. You are welcome to hang posters or decorate the way that brings you most joy.

However, as we all share the building, there are some limits to customising. First, consider your colleagues. In particular, if you share an office, talk to your officemates before changing anything – see for example the PGR office etiquette charter.

  • Any material you display should be considered public, and therefore cannot contain offensive material. See for example the code of student conduct.
  • If you display something, it’s your responsibility. When it gets out of date it is up to you to update or remove it. Don’t let your plants become sad.
  • Our buildings are wonderfully open and transparent. You may prefer a higher degree of privacy, but do keep in mind lines of sight, and what others may prefer.

Second, for the health and safety of yourself and others:

  • Try not to block out light sources, and consider whether an item causes glare.
  • Clear up clutter, so you have enough space to move and ventilation works as it should.
  • Anything that gets plugged in needs to be PAT tested. Similarly, anything with a rechargeable battery needs to be monitored.
  • Minimise the fire hazard of papers, books, and posters.
  • Keep your feet on the ground. If you must reach, ask a taller person or use a step stool or ladder instead of climbing chairs or desks.

When in doubt, ask Facilities.

Third, corridors need to be kept open and free of combustible material. That means you can request whiteboards or pinboards outside your office – but do consider noise nuisance – again, ask Facilities. But that also means posters or other decorations should be in fire retardant cases.

We have an annual spring clean that helps us all keep our work spaces fresh. Enjoy yours!

References

[1] Borzykowski, “What’s so wrong with dressing up your desk?“, BBC, 2017.

[2] Hoskins, “Employees perform better when they can control their space“, Harvard Business Review, 2014.

[3] Hardin, Bauman, Mayer, “Show me the … family: how photos of meaningful relationships reduce unethical behavior at work“, Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes, 2020.


Ask for help

Our university is a very large organisation. With over 15,000 staff and nearly 50,000 students, it consists of many parts. The same holds for our School. It is not always easy to find the kind of help you are looking for. Whether it’s harassment, bullying, or mental health, here are all available support options in one neat list.

poster of available help options

It’s ok to ask for help – these people are there for you!