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🧠 Unlocking My Advantage: Thriving in Research Through Self-Development 📖

 

Culture consultation

Our School works best when everybody is heard, and nobody is left behind. We are always eager to find out how to improve our community, with regular official feedback opportunities. In the last two years the School Culture survey, Athena Swan focus groups, and the University’s Staff Engagement survey have been implemented. These have revealed some common issues that we should improve; and although some we can only raise to College or University, there is a great deal that we as a School can act upon.

Findings to date may indicate that we need to listen and respond further to the needs of our staff. We’re keen to hear voices from across the whole School, especially including those who may not have contributed their views yet.

Therefore, the School is contracting an external body, Advance HE, to do three things:

  • Analyse all available data to understand what workplace issues are happening;
  • Facilitate an independent consultation of our School community to understand why these issues are challenging;
  • Develop independent recommendations about improving staff and student experiences.

Practically, over the next couple of months, Advance HE will be conducting 8 focus groups – 2 for professional services staff, 2 for academic staff, 2 for research staff, and 2 for research students – as well as in-depth interviews with key senior staff members. All work is completely independent from the School leadership, with robust and proper privacy and ethics considerations in place.

Our School has kindly invested in this work to improve our culture. When you are invited to join a focus group, please grab the chance, even if – especially if – you typically don’t respond to surveys. It is a great opportunity to improve our effectiveness to work together as a productive and happy community. Let’s seize it!

Am I even good enough to have imposter syndrome??

My imposter system is triggered by being praised. Or NOT being praised. Or being asked to do a thing. Or deciding on a new project. Or someone mentioning something I’ve achieved. Or being thanked, or shouted at, or ignored.   Or (and this is my favourite) someone else sharing their experience of imposter syndrome. Because if they do then I listen and think ‘my imposter syndrome isn’t good enough’. I get imposter syndrome about whether or not I experience imposter syndrome.

I find the term massively unhelpful. To me, an imposter is a person posing as someone else to commit some kind of fraud. A syndrome is medical, there’s probably some kind of quarantine and medicine involved, and there’s definitely people in white coats with clipboards. If I don’t tick enough boxes, I don’t have imposter syndrome, so I’m not allowed to talk about imposter syndrome.

The reality is though, imposter syndrome for me is anxiety with a different coat on. It’s anxiety that I’m not good enough, that I don’t know enough, that I don’t deserve this, they’re better than me because I’m rubbish.  Looking at it that way, it makes it a lot easier for me to understand. It explains why some people never experience it, why for some people it’s there in flashes, and for someone like me it’s a constant – I’m an anxious person, so of course I feel like an imposter.

It also makes it easier to understand how it can thrive in an environment like Informatics. This is a busy, high pressured environment where researchers are spending other people’s money to essentially try and improve the world a bit, which is pretty high stakes and anxiety-inducing.  Us professional services staff (PSS) are trying to support that, but we also have to make sure the boxes are ticked, the forms are filled in, etc, and that can lead to us and researchers/academics clashing  and acting in ways that can trigger imposter syndrome/anxiety in others.

The good news is, recognising imposter syndrome and anxiety and knowing that our work environment is a perfect breeding ground for it, also makes it easier to understand how I (and anyone else who sometimes feels like an imposter) can manage it.

I can be kind to myself, and remember that my anxiety lies to me. That person ignoring me doesn’t think I’m an idiot, they’re just busy and don’t understand the importance of the thing I’m asking them to do. Which is fair enough.  When someone thanks me for something I’ve done that’s not proof that I am a brilliant liar and actor and have managed to fool everyone in to thinking I’m doing a good job (this is a thought I have a lot). It’s that I did a good job, and that person thanked me, which is really nice actually.

And  of course, what we can all do for each other is be mindful of the effort we are all putting in in the school at every level.  None of us can do what we do without everyone else doing what they do, academic/research or PSS.  Recognising that more, being grateful and expressing that regularly, will help anyone who ever hears the voice claiming we’re not good enough. We are, and it’s nice to hear that sometimes.

Psst – don’t listen to me!

Many of us will have heard that nagging impostor voice:
“Am I really cut out for this?”
In science and academia we set out to explore the unknown and push the boundaries of what’s possible. And to be up for this task, we are supposed to gather the best and brightest minds. But this expectation of excellence and superb accomplishment – from within and outside the academic community, and above all, the expectation we hold up to ourselves personally – is a high one to live up to!
It is only natural (and perhaps honest?) to occasionally hear out the inner impostor voice. But we should have a level conversation with it and respond with confidence grounded in facts of proven skills and accomplishments, which surely cannot all be ascribed to luck. Because it is a problem when the impostor voice becomes a constant companion, when self-doubt in our skills, talents and accomplishments, feelings of guilt and the fear of being exposed become an urge to constantly prove our worth and dominate our professional decision-making.
That pressure will only hold us back from performing at our best and so perpetuate the struggle with living up to expectations, however unreasonable they may be.
Sufferers of impostor syndrome typically feel undeserving of their achievements, which translates to a sense of not belonging. Other factors that make us feel not belonging can therefore compound the impostor voice. For example, compared to their peers, ethnic minority students more often question the grounds on which they were accepted into the program, assuming it was due to affirmative action rather than an extraordinary application. This can certainly also hold true for members with other underrepresented or marginalised characteristics – be it due to gender, sexual orientation or gender identity, personal beliefs or social background – and the lack of role models intensifies the sense of not belonging. On top of that, in our academic sector, where interdisciplinary research is becoming more and more commonplace, even the background of expertise can be a source of insecurity and awaken the impostor voice.
While some characteristics may be outwardly evident, others aren’t. For example, in our international community, social background is a more hidden feature than in more heterogeneous circles. We can’t generally tell which of our colleagues and students are the first in their families to go to university or may have had to overcome socio-economic obstacles to do so, all of which can nurture the impostor voice.
Impostor syndrome can substantially impact mental health and work performance, and its voice is silent – we can’t know who struggles with it, and even if we did, their reasons may be invisible to us. But we can be mindful that it is a prevalent issue in our community, and we can do our best to be compassionate and inclusive and challenge actions that we feel undermine the sense of deserving and inclusivity of the people around us.

What I learnt at the ACM WomEncourage Conference

I went to the WomEncourage conference in Trondheim, Norway in September 2023, and here are some lessons that I learnt.

  • It’s amazing to be in a female-dominated computing environment. We are all used to spaces where people are talking about computing being very male dominated.  Mostly that is ok, and mostly we can feel welcome and part of that environment.  But it’s a wonderful change to be discussing technical details about computing in a room that is 80% female – being in the majority feels good.
  • Women working together is inspiring and uplifting. WomEncourage was formed by a group of women who had been working to support other women in their home countries and came together to form ACM-W Europe, and soon after came up with the idea of an annual conference – here is the inspiring story.  Anyone in tech can join ACM-W and get involved in working with this community, and this is something I would very much encourage our female staff and students to do.
  • Hackathons don’t have to focus on coding. The WomEncourage hackathon required teams to come up with innovative ideas about how tech could create meaningful solutions to some of the UN Sustainable Development Goals.  Understanding tech and having plausible ideas about what could work was key, but the focus was on hacking the ideas and not the code.
  • There is a huge skills gap in ethics and DEI in tech. Employers cannot find enough people with technical skills who also have an understanding of:
    • How to support and encourage diversity within the workplace (tech firms are often terrible at this and want to get better)
    • How to develop technology that is ethically aware and accessible to all – e.g., not just aimed at the most common (white, male) demographic

Encouraging our students to develop these skills is not just about doing the right thing – it’s about equipping our students for the modern job market and helping tech firms fill these crucial roles.

  • Most people (companies, universities, etc.) are doing the right thing in terms of talking about unconscious bias and other diversity issues. But very often this has very little payoff because it’s not deeply engrained into every day life but instead is an add on.  This is rarely effective.
  • In university settings, ethics is often taught as a separate or additional subject rather than as a core part of every single branch of CS and tech – and it’s often taught by people with no background in ethics. Every time we teach or learn anything, we should regard thinking about the ethical and societal impacts to be as important as the technical knowledge.
  • The paths into tech careers are many and various. Women and other minorities can flourish by following a ‘standard’ path in tech or by creating a new path that focusses on their passions and skills.  Birgit Penzenstadler, whose research focusses on sustainable software development, talked about how she brings yoga and mindfulness into her teaching and research practice.
  • There’s some great music in Trondheim, from the all-female student a cappella group that welcomed us to the conference (https://media.ed.ac.uk/media/WomEncourage+Conference+-+welcome/1_jajg1v42) to an organ recital on the largest organ in northern Europe in Nidaros Cathedral (https://media.ed.ac.uk/media/womEncourage+conference+-+recital/1_667zdc01)

If you want to see the Northern Lights, you’ve got to be patient and hope the clouds will part.

A Single Traveller’s Guide to starting out in the School of Informatics

Ah! The thrill of embarking on a new adventure! Whether it’s hopping on a plane to a foreign land, or starting out as a new student or staff member at the University of Edinburgh – the excitement and nervousness are almost indistinguishable. During a recent two-week holiday to Croatia, I came to realise that there are more similarities between these journeys than you might think. Here are some of the parallels I drew while travelling alone in an unknown country.

Navigating the unknown

Arriving in a new country is scary. Not knowing how to get from A to B can be really daunting. However, taking a leap of faith and stepping out into the cobbled back streets of Zadar old town, I realised that discovering new places can also be exciting. I started to like the feeling of being lost and discovered some amazing sights: the sea organ; roman ruins; and the best fried sardines EVER! As I explored this unknown city, I realised that this is how it must feel to be a new student or staff member turning up at Appleton Tower or the Informatics Forum for the very first time. Getting lost at university is inevitable; but it is something to embrace, not fear. Trying to find Lecture Hall AT_ M2, an obscure meeting room or a computer lab in a maze-like university campus provides you with opportunities to stumble across hidden gems
 like the NASA Valkyrie interactive experience installed at Bayes Centre NASA Valkyrie interactive experience installed at Edinburgh Centre for Robotics in the Bayes Centre, and the mindfulness Labyrinth in the north-west corner of George Square Gardens.

Making Friends

As a single traveller, you’re thrown into situations where you are forced to make friends with complete strangers. The same is true of university life. Attending your first cohort event, lecture or society as a new student is likely to be nerve-wracking. Trying to meet new people and form connections can be difficult and tiring. It’s certainly how I felt at times during my holiday. But be brave – try not to let your nerves get the better of you. Putting yourself ‘out there’ and speaking to people gets easier the more you do it. And it’s also an essential part of being at university. University isn’t just about attending lectures and tutorials: it also about getting to know your peers, academics, and professional services staff to create a lasting support network that is vital to your success and enjoyment as you embark on a new chapter in your academic journey.

Language and Culture

Travelling to a foreign country often means grappling with a new language. Suddenly ‘cold’ becomes ‘baltic’ and ‘sandwich’ becomes ‘piece’. In the School of Informatics, it’s not only human language we need to wrap our heads around – we also need to get to grips with computer language. When I started at the School of Informatics I remember feeling completely overwhelmed by the acronyms and systems: Haskell, Java, Theon, and DICE. I didn’t just feel like foreigner – I felt as if I’d landed on another planet! However, as time has gone on, I have found myself to be at home here and that the School of Informatics is actually “pure dead brilliant”. Academics have taken the time to explain to me with enthusiasm and patience the wonderful research that is taking place, right here, under my nose. What I enjoy so much about being part of a world-leading research community is the rich cultural diversity of staff and students it attracts. Few other Schools can boast the representation of over 100 countries. As someone who loves travelling, this aspect of the school really excites me.

Values

Some of us are new to the School of Informatics and are just starting out on their journeys. Others have been part of the fabric of the school for a long time. However, whether we are embarking on or continuing our travels, what I find reassuring is that the People and Culture Committee has worked hard to create and establish a set of Values that can guide us all. So, no matter what our background, each one of us feels welcomed, respected, and appreciated for the extraordinary and invaluable contribution we make to the Informatics community. No matter what challenges you face, I know that you will find these values in everyone and everywhere you look: Civility, Collaboration, Curiosity, Integrity, and Humility.

Ask for help

Our university is a very large organisation. With over 15,000 staff and nearly 50,000 students, it consists of many parts. The same holds for our School. It is not always easy to find the kind of help you are looking for. Whether it’s harassment, bullying, or mental health, here are all available support options in one neat list.

poster of available help options

It’s ok to ask for help – these people are there for you!


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