I had vaguely planned to keep adding to this blog while working on my thesis, which of course means that I’m only now, at the end of June, actually writing an entry. I’m trying to ignore the voice in my head that questions everything, insistently asking: What’s the point? Why bother? Is it even still worth it if the summer is halfway over?
Then again, I haven’t actually made any headway (on the page) so far. I’ve gotten a good grasp on what I want to do and what I want to say about it, but most of that progress was based on readings and contemplation. At this point, I have an outline of my critical component, a lot of details about the setting of my story, and about two dozen readings that I’ve started and not finished. Today is the first time I’ve actively written my story, and while I only got about 250 words down, it’s still the first step actually, finally taken.
Someone told me the other day that I work in bursts, which is very true. It feels slow and ineffective when I’m not experiencing a burst, and I feel the oppressive knowledge that I have to have a full draft ready to hand over to my supervisor in four weeks exactly. But it also feels like I’m finally pointing in the right direction, and now I just have to take my foot off the brakes and let ‘er run.
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