Ryan Doolan, Born 1976, Irvine, Scotland.
“Lois Lane was a Modern Athenian” – Robert McCall, Vanity Fair, July 2001.
Shallow, catty, flamboyant and image-obsessed, the Earls of Marchmont had an inside joke called ‘Modern Athenia’, two worlds which they invoked whenever things got rather, well, Modern and Athenian. At no point did they suggest that the Modern Athenianism featured in a recent 25 page special of Vanity Fair was maintained for any other purpose than to create danger in their rueful laughter. Contemptuous, guilt-ridden and disgusted by the treachery and hypocrisy of their profession, they decided to go to Duddingston Loch, for a penitent publicity shoot, armed with Soviet Lomos. Making sense of Modern Athenian mores is a trickier endeavour now that Modern Athenian chic, that 2001 phenomenon in which every magazine from Cosmopolitan to The Daily Record discovered Modern Athenianism, has shaken up our world. After the heady thrill of seeing Modern Athenians on the cover of Rolling Stone, Rev. Doolan experienced the distinct impulse to head for cover; and wished the Earls had never sought so much visibility. Suddenly Modern Athenian life became Modern Athenian lite. With tongue firmly in chic, Rev. Doolan, a great man all but at the top of the tree, voyaged with Modern Athenians of varying races, abilities, ages, regions, and proclivities as he unhinged the Kingdom of Fife en route to Warsaw. These genteel characters are drawn from actual life, not from books and fancy; and they are presented by means of brief, decisive yet always most discriminating touches. As Rev. Doolan preaches: ‘I proclaim unto thee that these milieus represent wildly mongrelised freaks of culture deparagraphised stolen standardised non sequiturs, glorified neologisms of unpunctuated run-on births of an historically unprecedented Modern Athenian identity.’ His is a modish cross-country trip across Modern Athenianism, with stops ranging from striking Loyalist Ayrshire miners to androgynous Polish Catholic nuns. Rev. Doolan is a Titan, so strong that he can afford to perform with calm the most Herculean feats. The result is a look at contemporary Modern Athenian life that is thorough, honest and aloof.
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