The beginning of the end of the PhD (NITS)
A few weeks ago marked the official “beginning of the end” of my PhD as I formally filed my NITS, better known as the Notice of Intention to Submit. If I were to describe the feeling of clicking on that “submit” button, it felt like pulling the pin from a (metaphorical) grenade, but then still holding on to it. My fingers are still gripped around my thesis, but I did the scary thing and said – welp, I’m officially going to hand this in. It’s time.
Confirmation of my Notice of Intention to Submit
Even though the NITS is a simple web form, the process involved writing out my abstract, picking a thesis title (something I had weirdly not considered very much), and affirming to the university that I am preparing to submit. My supervisor signed off on the form. And there it went. Out into the universe.
Now, I have the next three months to polish and perfect my thesis. I will revise, and revise, and revise – and try not to get too distracted from that important work. The road to submission is marked by all of these very small, but very final feeling, moments. I gave up the lease on my flat (which was sad), and packed all my stuff up, and headed back to Canada for the final push to finish the thesis. I have conferences coming up in July, as well as potential teaching opportunities for the Fall, but mostly, my eyes are narrowed in on the destination. Because August 31 is the day I toss that metaphorical grenade over the wall. It will be out of my hands. And into someone else’s.
Milestones to the finish line
In a previous post, I talked about feeling like I was at the start of a race. But now, I feel like I am on the final few laps. I have a lot of work ahead (maybe the most amount of work?) and it feels like such a daunting prospect that I will soon run out of time. I will have to squeeze out every last word, comma, hyphen, semi-colon, and then…. nothing. I won’t be writing a PhD anymore. I’ll be defending it.
Submitted my NITS on May 31, 2025
These little milestones feel so significant. Earlier this year, I began doing short videos and posting them on TikTok and Youtube about all the things I was doing in my final PhD year. Even though I’ve been blogging away for awhile now, the videos felt like real PROOF that I did something. I was really there. Maybe I will want to reminisce about my youth in ten years time and rewatch myself, but I also felt it was important to really document this pivotal moment. Because there will come a time when I’m “doctor” and all my work is leading up to that. There is a certain gravity to the present moment.
What’s next?
At the moment, I am back in Calgary and these past two weeks have been a whirlwind. I’ve been unpacking my bags from Edinburgh, doing laundry, and resorting myself into my life/friends/family. I’ve also been really examining my next steps – my career, my artistic practice, my dreams, and goals. Again, not everyone is on board with these. But it’s my decision to make now. I’ve also had a burst of new opportunities, publications, and (of course) rejections in my inbox. A poem was published in Typewronger. An Icelandic residency was a rejection. Several courses have been offered. A project was almost awarded. Suffice to say, my inbox is a dog’s breakfast. I am drafting replies, scheduling sends, and texting in multiple timezones.
There are cool things that have happened, and cool things that have almost happened, and might even still happen? I don’t know. All I can say is that when something happens, you’ll hear about it on this blog when the time comes.
