As I walk through the gates of academia
I wear the cap and gown of grief.
I lower my head to the loss of the old me………The loss of my best friend Nathaniel
The loss of my uncle Paul………
Upon this staggering entrance
I knock into a Stewart former Celtic
dressed as a professor………who stopped me in my stride.
Provided me with a warning………
I questioned whether he had provided this same warning to another.
Or was it just me because of my colour?
They corresponded………To an email which included my proposed thesis
“This is a traditional white and Anglocentric university, are you sure you want to bring your research here”.
They may have thought they were being kind………but, that kindness had a taste of otherness, apprehension, and anti-blackness………
………which was bitter and hard to digest.
Although……… I guess their internal rationale………
Would have been my proposed research interest:
The Black experience……… hold on! Thinking about it again……… isn’t Black a colour to some.
The opaque view that others have of the black shade.
………Can be a ball and chain………
holding one and a group of people back………
………into a murky fade
The Benevolent are like “what do we say” and “what shouldn’t we say”………
Whilst the malevolent are like “I’m not sitting next to him”………
“What is he doing here?” or “I bet you he is a token to the university topping up their scales on diversity”………
Imposter syndrome is colourblind yet, unfortunately society is not.
So, if you are non-Black, yes because racists are not all white………
Please imagine your feelings of imposter syndrome encaged with the colour of Black skin………
Recognise your internal bias, internal micro-aggressions from within………
………And support our walk-through academia holding our heads up high………
………rather than your anti-Black palm placing our heads down – Because we just want to grow, rise & shine!
Augustus Nathaniel
I’ve included this on a separate page for ease of sharing. Augustus opened an event with this poem and inspired an early post about the power of welcome. Although that page includes this poem in full, I wanted to include it as a separate page so that people would enjoy it under the spotlight it deserves.
