https://archive.org/details/penis_1965
For the past year or so, I’ve been fascinated by the concept of “Lost Media”. So many times I’ve gone down the YouTube rabbit hole to find thousands of videos on the topic of lost media. Lost media is films, TV shows, music, video games… etc that have been missing due to time, wiped memory discs, fires, or any way that it could be destroyed. Many of these videos have talked about this film called “Penis” (1965) by A. J. Rose, which was a piece of lost media believed to have been a gay pornographic film. The title mysteriously appeared in the American Film Institute Catalogue in the 1960s, but nobody could find any information on the film.
This month, after years of searching, the film was found and put online. It turns out is was actually an art experimental film – like “Un Chien Andalou” by Dali and Brunuel. I found this film to be extremely captivating as it was a commentary of LGBT rights in America in the 1960s – a lot of which is mirrored in society today. This film could be interpreted as a film about homosexuality or gender identity. The main protagonist seems to be questioning his own sexuality and is being rejected by society – which is how most people view the film. As a trans man, I can see two trans narratives as well. The protagonist could be a trans woman questioning her gender identity (the scene looking at the washing machines with women’s names on them) or a trans man affirming himself (the scene at the end where the protagonist puts the detached penis in his trousers). One scene that struck me was the one with the naked man dancing with the Uncle Sam poster as this was a commentary of gay people not being allowed in the military – sounds very familiar to Trump banning trans people from the military. These questions of gender and sexuality were very prominent to the viewer, especially in the scenes where the protagonist is looking at pictures and sculptures of men and women, trying to decide whether they want to be with them or be them. This is something that many queer people face, especially trans people. In my life, I have questioned both my gender and my sexuality. I used to wonder why I wasn’t like every other straight/cis girl, like society said I was. I would look at men and I would only see them as aesthetically attractive, but didn’t want to be with them – I wanted to look like them because that’s how I saw myself on the inside. I would look at women and find them attractive in all different ways. I wanted to be with a woman, but I didn’t feel like I was a woman. This can be extremely difficult to navigate but I feel like this film depicted this narrative accurately.
